An Underestimated Christmas (Underestimated 3) Page 16

  “Stacy was addicted to pain medicine?” I asked. I’m not sure why that made it better, but it did for whatever reason.

  “Very much so. I felt horrible for not knowing. I blamed myself for working fifteen hours a day and leaving her to deal with everything, and I blamed her for all the trouble our family was facing. You can fix this if you truly want to. If you truly love her. Don’t give up, Drew.”

  “It’s not me I’m worried about. It’s her. I just feel like she’s done, she’s had enough and I keep screwing everything up. I know it must look like I purposely sold the house without telling her, but I didn’t. I thought I had plenty of time to talk to her,” I rattled on and on. I think I was trying to make sense of what Solomon just told me. He’d already walked in my shoes. Wow.

  “Seems to me you’ve got the upper hand.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Tough love. I had to threaten Stacy with her kids to get her to get help. She was past the point of me helping her. She needed professional help. We, too, were constantly fighting and she knew there was no judge in the state of New York that would have left those kids to her. She knew it, but she also knew she didn’t want to break up our family. That was the alternative. Either divorce me and walk away from everything, or get help. Simple as that. I know a really good place if you’re interested,” Sole offered.

  “Yes, very much so.”

  “Drew?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re not innocent in all this. Just so you know that. Tough love doesn’t mean she’s the bad guy. It means she’s dealing with a lot of things on her own. How much of that is from you?”

  He was right. A lot of it was from me. I’ve always thought I had to make the decision for my family. I was the man of the house I was supposed to be. No matter how male chauvinist that made me, it was how I saw it. Sole and I finished up our conversation with the business he originally called for and then said goodbye. I was glad he called. I was glad Sole made me feel like it wasn’t the end of the world. He and Stacy looked so happy together. We could get it back, too. We had to.

  Morgan was rocking lightly back and forth with Tadpole sleeping on her chest when I entered. Our trance held briefly while we both searched for words to say.

  “I’ll take him,” I offered, lifting Tadpole from her arms. I smiled a sad, warm smile at the exact moment she did. She was trying to read my face, feel me out, expecting me to be mad. I wasn’t mad, not anymore. I felt horrible and I felt to blame, for all of it.

  “Drew?” Morgan called from the couch. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t give her the reassuring smile she needed me to give. I was angry, I was blaming myself, and I was in shock. Never in a million years would I have consider what I saw with my own eyes. Not from Morgan.

  “I’m going to shower,” I said, shifting Tadpole’s weight when his head fell to the side. I didn’t wait for a reply, I walked away.

  Not one word was exchanged that night. Although we were both wide awake most of the night, neither of us slept. I stared up at the ceiling, contemplating Sole’s words. I had one shot at this, and I had to get it right.

  Morgan and her mother work together in the kitchen while Caroline tried to get my non-cooperating boys to play a game. Tadpole didn’t want to play Sorry. He wanted to use the pawns for super heroes. He won because his red piece had special powers. Caroline gave up when Nicholas wanted to make a bridge out of the board.

  “Happy Thanksgiving, I wish you guys were here,” Morgan said in her phone. My eyes looked to hers, but hers stared straight ahead. She ruffled Tad’s hair when she passed him and walked out to the deck to talk. I was sure it was Alicia. That could be a problem. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Morgan since I’d talked to her that morning.

  I watched Morgan walk around, arms flailing while she talked to her friend. Yup this was bad. It’s not like she left me any choice. It was either Alicia or her mother and I was sure Morgan would have rather it be Alicia than her mother.

  “Can I talk to you for a second?” Morgan asked, stomping right past me and to our bedroom. Jason tilted his eyebrows inward, wishing me luck. Taking a deep breath, I followed my wife with an imaginary shield.

  I pled my case first. “I was going to tell you, Morgan.”

  “Sure you were, Drew. Was that before or after you were going to tell me you’re going to New York?”

  “What? I mean, no. I was going to tell you at the same time.”

  “So, tell me, Drew,” Morgan drilled, tapping her chin with her black painted finger nail. Since when did Morgan wear black nail polish? I didn’t like it. I did like the black dress slacks going all the way up her long legs. The waist was high, forcing her legs to look even longer, and the heels added another inch.

  “Were you planning on telling me you had a babysitter coming to sit with me for a couple days while you were off in New York before the turkey or after?”

  “Morgan…”

  “Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t you ever fucking touch me again. Go, Drew. You go ahead and take care of what you need to take care of in New York, but I’ll tell you one thing, and you can take it ever how you want. I’m not stepping one goddamn foot in New York. I’m staying right here with my boys. If you choose to take off and buy stores without so much as bringing it up with me, then you can live there. I’m not.”

  I held my tongue while Morgan told me everything that was on her mind. I wanted to understand where she was coming from, but I just couldn’t. What I’d seen with my own eyes wouldn’t let me.

  “I’m not going to do this with you right now, Morgan. We have company. It’s Thanksgiving, let’s go be thankful for our family and we’ll hash this out later.”

  “Or you can just go to hell. I’m so sick of your conniving, sneaky ways, I’m about to blow my top. I can’t stand you anymore, Drew.”

  “Are you sure it’s me, or do you need to take a break to powder your nose?” I crossly asked.

  “Oh, I’m sure it’s you, Drew. I already took care of that the last time you pissed me off. That was about forty five minutes ago, in case you care,” Morgan informed me, walking around me and out the door. I ran my fingers through my hair, and let her go. There was no point. Solomon’s encouraging words were dead. Fixing this seemed virtually impossible.

  Thanksgiving dinner was as strained as the entire day was. Even Caroline noticed the thick bad energy around the table. Both boys were exceptionally well behaved and Morgan’s mom watched us carefully. I knew Morgan told her very little about what went on in her life. Although Morgan had forgiven her long ago, I think she still held a little animosity, things too deep to forgive her over an apology. At least she had Alicia to talk to. I wanted her to have someone. Morgan never looked at me, not one glance. That was the worst Thanksgiving dinner I’d ever had. Quiet, strained, and weird as hell.

  “I’m taking my family and going to my house to watch some football. You two should put these boys down for a nap and go make up,” Jason suggested, gathering his troops. Fat chance of that happening. Morgan wouldn’t even look at me.

  Jason wasn’t lying. As soon as Amanda helped clean up, he rushed them along. I don’t blame him. The air was suffocating. I took the boys and changed them from their dress clothes to more comfortable lounging around clothes and we piled around the sofa. Morgan messed around, cleaning up and then went to our room alone where she sat in a chair and faced the ocean with her tablet and a book.

  Tadpole was just climbing up her lap when I went to fetch him, trying to give her some time to herself.

  “Come on, little man. Let’s let Mommy read her book.”

  “No, I gonna read it, too,” he yawned.

  “You need a haircut,” Morgan decided, brushing it from his forehead. She kissed his head and looked up to me. “I’m pretty sure I can handle Tadpole. You can go,” she smartly replied.

  “I never said you couldn’t handle him. I was merely stating the fact that you’re trying to read.”

&
nbsp; “I want to read, too,” Nicholas informed me, sliding me out of the way to get to his mom. Morgan moved to the side and Nicholas climbed in beside her.

  “You can go,” she said, dismissing me. I didn’t know who this Morgan was. Morgan had absolutely no love in her eyes. None. The ice glistening in her eyes was felt just as much as it was seen. Morgan hated me. This was never going to work. I took a long audible breath and left her, looking through her tablet for a book for the boys.

  I ate a slice of pumpkin pie and watched the highlights of the football scores. I didn’t really keep up with the sport, but it gave me something to talk about with Jason. At least I didn’t look like the minority of men who didn’t watch sports. I grew up around diamonds and businessmen, not football.

  Ten minutes hadn’t gone by when I got the message.

  Morgan—Can you come and get one of these boys. They’re both sleeping.

  Drew—Yes, will you talk to me?

  Of course, there was no response. I picked up Nicholas and took him first. He looked the most uncomfortable tucked behind Morgan with his head to his chest. I had to scoop Tadpole up from our bed, because Morgan laid him there.

  “He can sleep there. I’m just reading,” she said over the brim of her glasses.

  “You’ve been at forty-one percent for two days. Either you’re not into the book, or you can’t focus on it. I’m going to bet it’s the latter. I’m going to put Tad in his bed and we’re going to talk.”

  I walked out without another word. I heard her say, “like hell we are,” but I didn’t reply to it. We were going to talk about something even if it did end in a screaming match. I couldn’t take the ignoring me bullshit for one more second. My mind reviewed what I wanted to say, while I laid Tad down. That’s when he changed my plans.

  Not only did he throw up all over my shirt, it went down my shirt. I did the only thing I knew how to do.

  “Morgan!” I called three times, before she heard me.

  “I heard you the first time. What’s wrong, buddy?” she asked, taking Tadpole and removing his shirt. I left her to clean him while I cleaned myself. Needless to say, we didn’t talk. She was back to ignoring me after Nicholas got sick, too.

  We spent the rest of the day forcing Pedialyte and popsicles down our children’s throats. It was almost like old times except Morgan and I didn’t touch. Nicholas and Tadpole laid over both of us on the sofa while we watched a Thanksgiving special on the Hallmark channel.

  It sure didn’t feel like we had much to be thankful for, but when the guy on the movie told the girl to find one thing to be thankful for, I knew. I knew I was thankful for my family. No matter the rotten place we were, I still wouldn’t trade them for the world, not one of them.

  Morgan excused herself when Tadpole fell asleep in her arms. She shifted him to the pillow and covered his sleeping little body. We did make about half a second eye contact when she slid the trashcan closer to him, just in case.

  Morgan stayed in the bathroom for almost an hour. I’m assuming she sat in a hot tub, and I hated to think what else she was doing. Ignoring it like she did seemed to be the only way. I showered next, leaving both boys asleep on the sofa. Neither of them had gotten sick in almost three hours and I was hoping we were out of the woods. I wasn’t looking forward to a long night of sick kids and I really needed to fly out the next day. I wouldn’t leave Morgan with two sick boys.

  Morgan sighed and rolled to her side with her tablet when I entered from the bathroom in a towel. That was on purpose, but her rolling away from me told me I may as well slide on the basketball shorts. Instead of covering myself, I slid under the covers and took her tablet.

  I got the dirty look and the eye roll. “Drew, don’t.”

  “Sit up. Let’s play a game,” I coaxed, leaning against the headboard.

  “Let’s not. I’m sick of your games.”

  “Sit up, Morgan,” I ordered again.

  “Oh my god. What? What do you want, Drew?” she hastily asked, sitting beside me.

  “Truth or dare?”

  “What?”

  “Truth or dare? I’ll go first and you have to either answer my questions or take the dare.”

  “And what’s the dare?”

  “I don’t know. When was the last time you had an orgasm. Surly you can think of something. I know I can.”

  “It was a couple hours ago in the tub. I don’t need you to make me have an orgasm. I can do it just fine myself,” Morgan argued.

  “I’m sure you can. So can I,” I assured her, moving the covers to my hand around my cock. Her eyes went right to my growing erection and I stroked, giving her what I hoped would make her crack.”

  “What do you want to know?” Morgan asked not taking her eyes from my now fully erect cock. I think it got harder the moment I saw the lust in her eyes.

  Yes! Victory was mine for the taking.

  I truly believed I was beginning to hate Drew. Everything about him pissed me off. The whole situation pissed me off and he wasn’t reacting to what he’d walked into like he should be. I wasn’t wearing new welts across my ass. He wasn’t arguing about the pills at all. Regardless of how I felt about any of it, watching Drew stroke himself reminded me of how long it had been since my husband touched me. My clitoris vibrated instantly at the sight. Drew covered himself as soon as I asked what he wanted to know. Shit.

  “Should I be worried?” he asked, still jerking beneath the covers. Stupid man.

  “About what?”

  “You. Do you need help?”

  “No. Is it my turn now?” I asked.

  “That’s all the answer I get? Is no?”

  “What else is there?”

  “What did you put up your nose?”

  “That’s not the same question.”

  “Okay fine. Go.”

  “Why all the secrets? Why do you do everything behind my back? You should have known Alicia was going to tell me. Were you expecting her to just show up here without me knowing you hired a sitter for me?”

  “That’s way more questions than I asked, but unlike you, I’ll answer it. I am not keeping secrets. I asked you to trust me and you haven’t done it yet. I’m trying my damndest to take care of this and you won’t let me. I didn’t think this would happen so soon. I was going to tell you everything. I swear. Even Alicia, and I didn’t hire her. She would never take money for coming here to sit with you. She loves you.”

  “Why are you going to New York?”

  “It’s not your turn anymore,” Drew reminded me. “Truth or dare?”

  Jesus, I wanted to take the dare. I knew it had something to do with the hardness I saw under the covers. I looked down and back to his eyes, contemplating my move.

  “Truth.”

  “What kind of pills and where did you get them?”

  “They’re my pills. After I crushed them once I realized I didn’t need as much and the relief was instant.”

  “The relief or the high? You’re lying. Why did you have a withdrawal for a hundred bucks and a bar tab?”

  “Can I chose dare?” I asked not wanting to do this.

  “Too late. Tell me the truth.”

  “It’s OxyContin. I bought it from a guy at the bar,” I shamefully admitted, staring down at my hands. The held breath beside me was deafening and all action beneath the covers halted. I was sure I’d just knocked Drew clear off his feet.

  “I want to be really mad at you right now. What on earth were you thinking, Morgan?”

  “It’s not your turn anymore,” I sadly reminded him. I wasn’t thinking. That was one of the problems. The other problem was I had a problem.

  “Fine, go,” Drew ordered with a little more of an edge now. He was pissed.

  “Truth or dare? Say dare.”

  “Truth,” he replied, moving his hand up and down his shaft again.

  “Say dare,” I coaxed, moving my eyes to his. The corner of his lip fought against curling.

  “You can’t tell me what
to say.”

  “But you’re going to keep going until we’re fighting and one of us storms out. I don’t want to be mad anymore,” I explained, feeling way too excited to ruin it with anger. Drew hadn’t sparked these feeling in quite some time and I wanted to act on lust not the truth.

  “Dare,” he rasped.

  “I dare you to touch me,” I said with the same sultry tone while looping my panties in my thumbs and sliding them to my feet.

  “Where?” Drew asked, pumping his fist a little harder below the covers.

  I slid my black nails up my legs and whispered. “Here.”

  Drew didn’t hesitate before shifting his body a little and sliding his finger up my throbbing, wet slit. Holy mother of all pearls. It sure as hell didn’t feel like that when I did it. Not even in the same ballpark. I whimpered a little, letting my knee drop toward Drew. He pulled my leg to his bare chest and watched while sliding his middle finger inside me. That one was more than a whimper. Jesus, why did we stop doing this? I could hate him and fuck him. “Aahh…Yes, right there, baby.”

  “Truth or dare?” Drew asked, retracting his finger completely with a smirk. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  “Dare,” I practically yelled, hoping to stop with the questions and do it already.

  “Kiss me.”

  “What?” I accidently said. I wasn’t expecting that. I was expecting him to gag me with his cock.

  “You never kiss me anymore. I miss it.”

  Wow. Drew was asking for a kiss, not a blowjob. I wasn’t expecting him to pull me so close to him, either. Our bodies molded together while we stared at each other’s lips, moving closer and closer languidly. It wasn’t like the romance books I read. It wasn’t like a first kiss at all. It was like a nostalgic kiss. I missed it, too. I missed being this close to Drew. I missed feeling Drew.

  Unlike Drew, I didn’t pull away. I wanted to kiss him forever, forget real life, and live in the parallel universe. The perfect world. Drew kissed me just as desperately as I kissed him, both needing something from each other. The next few minutes played out the opposite way my mind was playing them. Drew never went down on me, Drew never forced me to my knees, and Drew never left a handprint across my ass.